I know I haven't written in a long time.

But I've been training hard as hell for this upcoming tournament.

• the Secret
• funerals
• I got a job!
• if I think of anything else I'll write it later.

the Secret

I started reading the Secret last week and though I haven't finished it (due to training), it has noticeably impacted the way I think about things. I have an even more optimistic outlook on life and remain a positive person. If you think this is a bunch of mumbo jumbo, that's probably because you are a pessimistic character. So, it kind of works.

funerals

My work-out buddy's mom died last week Saturday. I was getting ready to head over to her house to do a scrapbook for my best friend's birthday (I canceled on him for him) and I called her and she told me she passed from a massive heart attack. After we clicked, I cried. I have much love for my workout buddy, Viv, she is a wonderful person that I enjoy spending time with and I felt so terrible. My family attended her mother's funeral last Monday and paid our respects. We met the rest of the family, and I saw familiar faces that I hadn't seen since "M" decided to completely terminate our friendship. My sister cried really hard and I could only look at my mom and whisper "I Love You" to her. Guys, appreciate who you have around you. You never know what day could be their last.

I got a job.

So Monday before the funeral, my dad called me and asked me if I knew that the furniture store down the street was hiring. Since I said no, he offered me to take me and so I did, using the Secret of knowing that I was going to land this job since before I knew that there was a job offer. I arrived, filled out an application, turned it in. Went home, did an assessment test (which was actually challenging) and that was it. Tuesday, I received a call asking me to come in on Wednesday for a group interview. I was so excited, eager, and laughing a lot. I feel cheerful and on top of the world, truly.

Yesterday, Wednesday I created a new memory that I will tell my kids (when I have 'em.)

I didn't have a ride to the interview. So I had to walk there. This store is down the street in a car. This store is a long walk away by legs. :) No problem though, I never complained about walking unless I was really tired (and then I did complain but did it anyways.) I packed my nice clothes into a bag, put in my hair ironer, a brush and my usual purse stuff and headed out 45 minutes early. I was dressed in athletic shorts, sneakers and a white tee.

I reached the Burger King in the corner, changed into my long sleeve business shirt, my pencil pants with the wide leg and heels. Then I click clacked over to the store.

Now, I can walk in heels. I've had that pair for a few years and they look brand spanking new. And they AREN'T new because I have worn them more than I have probably wore anything else. Really.

But yesterday, for the life of me, I was so nervous, I walked like a duck.

DOESN'T MATTER, because I got to the store early. The manager was surprised at my earliness. Apparently, not every one comes early to interviews. Actually, people don't actually SHOW UP for interviews. The group interview consisted of another lady (about 46) and myself.

Was I nervous? Yes. Was I scared? Definitely. Did I show it? Not at all. I surprised myself too there, at the calmness I had. Many it was because I knew that I had it in the bag already. After some questions that I had no idea how I answered, the manager let me know he would call me to let me know what was up.

I ducked into Subways after, grabbed a bite to eat, and changed in their bathroom. Then I headed home to regain my feet after being in those darn shoes.

I got a call later and, well, I got the job.

:-)

if I think of anything else, I'll write later.

Self explanatory.

you pretend so good

god I am in so much pain all over. I was going to write yesterday but I passed out when I got home.

• Titan Guy
• training and the extra class
• resting

Titan Guy
So mom doesn't want me to walk anymore in the mornings because she doesn't want me to feel uncomfortable because of that guy following me. I think it is getting to her more than it is getting to me, because I just take a different route and get lost. The good thing is I'm on feet, I can duck into a store or something. You can't jump fences with a car.

training and the extra class
Yesterday Viv and I couldn't work out together because "M" was really sick. So I decided to do some stuff by myself. We have a mini trampoline in our apartment. You  may think its easy, but try jumping 10 minutes straight if your cardio is shit. The first time I jumped, I jumped for 25 minutes. The second time I jumped, I jumped for 8 minutes before almost dying. A lot of things play into this: have I eaten before? Have I exercised before? How do I feel? Do I have my period? Well yesterday I jumped for 5 minutes and then had to answer a text. Then I jumped for 7 minutes before having to pee really bad. Then I jumped for 30 minutes and headed into my room to do some modified diagonal pull ups. I was tired after, and was thankfully that today we were having a mock tournament and nothing big.

But then my best friend told me he couldn't take me to gym, meaning I had to walk. I walked quickly with my sister and we made it in 45 minutes. I sucked in the mock tournament and that always makes me laugh, because "D" was screaming at me about jumping guard when I fell and stuff like that. WHATEVER. Class finished and I stayed behind a whole hour grappling with some of the guys in the ring. It was great because I started sweating like crazy, exerting myself. Meanwhile while I was grappling, my mom and coach were talking about my old situation. He knew because I had to miss class a few times or I arrived late from court dates or something immigration appointments. Eventually I just stopped saying stupid excuses and told him why I missed. Then he stopped questioning. :-)

I decided I wanted to leave finally, shower and EAT because I hadn't since I had to run out to make it to gym on time. After I changed and headed out of the locker room, another instructor walked up to me and asked me if I could stay to train with the one girl in his class. Since my mom and coach were talking, I asked them both for permission to stay.

Last time I did a female class without my coach's permission, he got all pissed and shit that I hadn't told him. And my mom is my ride so.. yeah.

My mom agreed without a problem. My coach was all hesitant and like, "if another girl comes, leave before class starts", "don't let it happen again" stupid shit. Man, I have this tournament in two weeks and YOU are gonna deny me extra practice? I don't think so.

So I did the extra class on no energy, no food, no fuel.

(It was no-gi BTW. This is just a random gym picture.)

It was soooo awesome, I had a great time. Before the class started, coach warned me that the chick was a black belt in Karate. -__- And I had JUST asked the girl how long she had been doing martial arts for and she told me a year! Nothing pisses me off more than lying to me. I'm gonna find out either way from your technique! Stupid girl. We wrestled the last few minutes and I tapped her out via rear naked choke. I cracked her neck sideways, as she said. I don't care, as long as I secured the tap, you liar. She had slammed me anyways. Pfft. Cheater.

resting
So normally I'm always up by 7 and out of bed by 7:45 a.m., taking care of sister, making sure she gets dressed, eats and we head on out to school. Today, I stayed in bed till 11:30 sleeping and doing NOTHING. IT FELT SO DAMN GOOD. My body ached so bad during the middle of the night, my knees have been hurting. I think I may start wearing my braces again :/ But we'll see. I am so proud of myself for yesterday. I may even jump on the trampoline for a few to get my heart pumping and incorporate a little exercise for today.

:)

the power of the spoken word

I don't really write on the weekends? But it's Monday so here.

• Friday night
• an old friend
• wrestling 101
• the power of the spoken word
• Saturday night
• kayaking and beach
• Amy
• Titan Guy
• my protein shake

Friday night

so Friday night didn't happen as predicted. Instead I went to the grocery store and stocked up on all the junk for my cheat day Saturday. Items included red velvet cake, Malta polar and spaghetti. Also cheesecake, key lime pie, etc etc.

an old friend

As I drove to the grocery store, my mom brought up an old friend of mine who was an instructor at the gym. She asked if there was somehow I could train with him. I wish, I told her, as he lives very very far, about an hour away. He used to make the trip to teach at my gym on Fridays after my old class. Aside from being a substitute at the school he worked at, he was also the wrestling coach and helped lead the gym owners to stardom. Meaning, he is really really good. :-) Saturday morning I drove to gym again (I now have this new found freedom I did not have before because of immigration issues) and arrived early. There was a morning class going on and I sat along the ring to see who was attending my class in less than half an hour. My sister made me aware that this wrestling coach friend of ours was grappling with another friend of ours! I was so surprised because not only had we just mentioned him, I had been thinking about him for about a week now! We hadn't seen him since that embarrassing GSP vs Shields UFC match in April. When he finished his session, he walked up to us and we all group-hugged. It was so so so so so nice to see him again. He stayed behind to watch our class and watch me suck at wrestling. While he hid behind the heavy bags to watch me, I told him to cover his eyes. During one bout, I took the kid's back. As I got up (because the round was over and our coach had us take a water break) I walked over to him.

me: "You saw didn't you? I told you to cover your eyes."

him: He laughed. "No no I saw. Trust me, you're a wrestler, you just don't even know it yet."

DING DING DING, EGO BOOST.

Class finished and I spoke to him about my fear of take downs and being aggressive because of the nasty guillotine choke I had gotten caught in. After that day, I decided to become the offensive personality in the match, though I know defending tires more than attacking. He completely understood and offered to help me when he returned from his errands. I headed home for a bowl of spaghetti and fresh clothes, and met him back at the gym at 3.

wrestling 101
We stepped inside the ring, the old friend/ wrestling coach "T" and my longtime grappling friend, Chelse.

I faced T and told him one thing very simply:

"Pretend it's my first day of wrestling practice. I don't know anything at all. But we can skip the parental consent forms, I'm 18. I can sign my own stuff."

He laughed but I could tell this relaxed him, because from there he knew what to do. It wasn't like a "oh let's see what you know" or a "you know how to do this already? oh.."

He had me stand in my stance. T modified and tweaked my stance, positions and gave me valuable tips throughout the session.

I had asked him how the hell could I lift someone without using my back.

"You have strong legs. Let's put them to use." He said, when I asked.

These are not my legs. Why would I post a picture of my legs? Just trust that my legs are ferociously strong.

But anyways, EGO BOOST!

By the end of the practice, I could properly lift up Chelse without straining my back as I normally had done.I could also take someone down without having to slam my knees on the floor (which always pained me so fricking MUCH) and learned what to do after acquiring a single leg. My wrestling had always been sloppy but now that I have a basic knowledge of it and proper form, I shall just drill my 3 moves. T explained that wrestling was about having basically 2 or 3 go-to moves. This week I am going to just drill drill drill those three take downs over and over. I will become the aggressor now, thanks to such an amazing person, T.

T is the guy on the right, with the camouflage colored trunks.

the power of the spoken word
You know, many people say things out loud and I am the kind of person who believes a lot on calling energies by the spoken word. I'm not here to force my beliefs on anybody, read this on your free will, but I believe simple repetition of something, anything, can somehow come true. Thinking it, wishing for it, speaking about it. Just how my mom mentioned T randomly, as I had already been thinking about him. How amazing was it that as I entered that day, he was there and not only was he there, but gave me amazing advice? Advice I know I will carry with me throughout my practice.

Saturday night
I did not go fishing how I wanted. Instead I went out with my best friend to eat. I was speaking to him about the kayaking trip the next day and he had told me how ML had invited him to go, but he didn't want to. He lied about having plans.Then this happened.

C: *talking-like-its-such-a-drag*how much is it anyways?
J: it's $15. I'm so excited. It's going to be such a fabulous workout for my arms and torso.
C: *talking-like-its-such-a-drag* And at what time is this?
J: we are going early, at 9:30.
C: 9:30?!?!?!?!?!?!?! *talking-like-its-such-a-drag* Okay I'll go.

I so knew he wanted to go. And so he did end up going. But before that, we went to the new Walmart by my place, where it literally took us 25 minutes in a line to buy ONE pack of socks, plus ONE Pepsi.

kayaking and the beach
KAYAKING WAS SO AWESOME. I went very well prepared, with a lot of sunscreen, one of my competition rash guards, lots of water, a cap. We kayaked across a few islands, until we decided to get off at one and stay for a bit. ML and I went exploring to the opposite side of the island. There were mounds of ant piles and mosquitoes by the pound. We jogged back and ate watermelon by one of the picnic tables. The sun was blazing hot as well. I think I have sunspots on my face. We threw the kayaks back into the water and paddled back to the dock. By then all our arms wanted to fall the hell off. Afterwards we all decided to hike over to the beach. I got in a sports bra and shorts, because i didn't know we were going to the beach in the first place. We loved it so much, we're doing it again this Sunday. I am sore as hell all over my body, including my legs. And I don't even know why, on my legs, because we were merely sitting.

Amy
My little chicken has been doing so much better. I had to hand feed her a couple of times but she is doing awesome now. Her dad managed to finish plucking out all of her orange cheek feathers but now has left her alone. Amy is also developing her climbing skills, as just Saturday she finally climbed one of the perches in the cage. She is queen of that perch, as well, because no one else is allowed to get on it. :)

Titan Guy
After last week's dreaded encounters, tension has flared. Today while walking out of my sister's school, Titan Guy left his group of friends and followed close behind me. As I turned around for a quick glance, I noticed him heading out behind me, looking at me. I got so scared, I walked straight into a different route instead of my usual one. This is getting out of hand. I have his plates and now he drives an old Acura. He creeps me out. My mom is getting angry at this too. This isn't a joke anymore. I hope he leaves me alone tomorrow and the rest of my life. Mom says if I don't handle this, she is stepping in. I don't want her to, I'm not a baby or something, but this hasn't ever happened to me before and though I know I am a strong personality, I don't know how to handle this. Normally I would just tell people to f*** off and that's it. I have to do this all educated and respectful-like. I just watch too much Criminal Minds and am afraid of what to do if he grabs me. I know I'll react. But I think my reaction will be all or nothing. Be like Tyson and bite his ear off or something. :-/

My protein shake
Okay remember that fabulous recipe? the great tastin' pink drink one? Today I added TWO scoops of protein powder. It came out so creamy. I didn't mind that, or the fact that I couldn't chew the coarse little fiber powders because of its creaminess.

Let's see how this goes.

beast mode

topics:

• beast mode
• the importance of wrestling
• kayak
• it's Friday, thank god

beast mode

I had a beast moment yesterday, during gym. After we finished doing burpees (super gay), jump squats (extra gay), jumping lunges (kind of gay), planks and stairs, we went inside and worked on our wrestling. We once again drilled the snap down, and then added the rear naked choke (or Mata Leon) to the move. We drilled that for some time, and then we had to wrestle live. Well I wrestled some new kid, he ended up taking me down but he couldn't control the position because.. I wouldn't let him, duh, hello. I fought a girl twice, she defended the second time, I was proud of her. (Mostly because she never tries until I start putting the pressure.) And then came the beast moment. I had to wrestle this kid and as he went for a double leg take-down, I jumped, spun around him and took his back. IT. WAS. SO. FRICKING. COOL. The whole class said 'holy shit" at the same time. And I needed that, because my confidence has been sour for this upcoming tournament as I haven't been working out or grappling how I used to. It was nice to have some of the kids come up to me after congratulating me and telling me how cool that was. :^) we all need a little ego boost sometimes.

the importance of wrestling

After Grappler's Quest, I realized the importance of take downs having a good stand up game. This weekend, on Saturday after class I'm wrestling with a kid who wrestled for CP for 3 years. He said he was pretty decent, which is what I need, anything better than me with great form, I'll take. Sunday I have another friend, who grappled with me regularly until he hurt his ankles, coming to drill and is bringing along his cousin who wrestles for Ferguson. He says his cousin will help me improve. Perfect, I need all the wrestling help I can get.

kayak

female best friend "ML" invited me to go kayaking this Sunday. As this may conflict with the Ferguson wrestling, I'm trying to see if I can push the wrestling to later so I can still Kayak. It must be so awesome and cool and awesome. And an excellent arm work out, which is why I also WANT to do it! I'm gonna make it work, I want to do both. Both have awesome benefits.

it's Friday, thank god

Friday's are wonderful days, now that Saturday classes consist of grappling. Tonight I'll be going out with an old friend of mine whom I have a drill with.

He texts me (always during gym) saying, hey it's been a while. Let's hang out. 

We plan a day, it never happens.

Two months later, he reappears.

Repeats cycle.

Until yesterday, when I told him not to bother and laughed in his face.

But supposedly now we really are gonna catch up. Yeah, we'll see about that.

Titan Guy

only topic until tonight.

• Titan Guy

This man, which I refer to the Rapist among my family, is a man that has a kid at my baby sister's school. For the sake of this blog and the meanness of the name, we shall refer to him as Titan Guy. I'll explain why in a bit.

This story starts off last year when I was walking my sister to her school. Occasionally Ill take her, we'll study for tests. Rainy days, hot days or days where our legs hurt, Mom usually takes over and I get to sleep in. :)

Anywhooo, one day I'm heading back and this guy flags me down as I reach the corner of the block. As I walk often, I say good morning to everyone, smile when I pass by and have also helped many when they get lost. The strip of area where I walk by has many offices that look like homes and that's enough to confuse even the most gifted map-reader. I walk towards the car (which is a gray Nissan Titan hence his name), innocently as hell, expecting this man to be lost. 

He speaks Spanish, so all conversations shall be translated to English since we live in America and I won't be taking time to write in Spanish anyways.

He puts the window down and shakes my hand.

Titan Guy: "Hello."

Me: "Hey."

Titan Guy: "Hey I just wanted to tell you that I've seen you walk often around by these parts and I was wondering if we could be friends or something."

Uh, hold up.

1. Hey, Titan Guy, I don't hit on many Walkers (people who walk places) often, (actually, I've never hit on a walker because ALL Walkers tend to be grandma/pa + parent ages) but saying "I've seen you walk often around by these parts" is straight up creepy.What, have you been watching me? For how long? Do you know my route? My schedule? My uniform for each day?
2. What the hell is "or something?" What does that mean? Best friends? Is that what you're getting at? Cause you're a dad. What about a wife? What, am I your pathetic attempt for cheating? A Walker? Can't get it at the local clubs so you come to me?

Me: "No." At this point I backed away from the car.

Titan Guy: "Why, are you married?"

Me: "Yeah." And have 3 kids, a four bedroom two-story house, a German Shepard called Rocky..

Rocky and you, if you keep following me around.

Titan Guy: "Me too. They don't have to find out."

1. Really? Did you really just say that?

Me: "No." I continued my walking and left.

He left as well, in the opposite direction. 

That night when I told my mom about the event, she told me not to shake his hand or anyone else's hands anymore in a car.She said that you never know if they  have a needle and they stab you with it and it has some  thing that will put me to sleep or he could pull me in and kidnap me. Hmm, could that be too much Criminal Minds? Maybe. Or it could also be that people do stupid, deadly stuff anyways. For the sake of my safety, I got his tags, made sure I knew his car to a T (until he sold it and I was screwed yet again) and got the number of the towing company he had on his shirt. 

"Hmmm I feel like hitting on some Walkers today... hey, there's one!"

That was last year. Since school started this time I hadn't seen him around.. until today.

I dropped off baby sister and spotted him in the distance. He was far as hell too, past the main office, about a good hundred feet from me. I have horrible distance vision, unless its for creepy people that follow you around and want to become "more-than-friends" with you. Then I have eagle/ falcon/ hawk eyes. Try me.

I made sure she walked past him and he didn't approach her, and then I turn and darted out of sight.

I was half way to the corner of the school when I heard someone walk quickly behind me. I walked faster. I looked at the shadow constantly. This person was right behind me. I'm sure if I would have stopped suddenly, whoever it was would have crashed into me.

The footsteps got louder and nosier and abrupt, so I stepped off to the left and looked to the right, to find myself staring into the eyes of..

BARNEY.

(Well, more like eye because he has a patch over one.)

Nah not really. I found myself staring into the eyes of Titan Guy. (That photo was just so funny I had to share it.)

First, something to contemplate.

1. DID YOU RUN? I swear to god you were far as hell from me. Answer me honestly, did you run? You did, didn't you? You freak.

He struck up conversation, translated into English for our convenience. 

Titan Guy: "Hey."

Me: oh god. "Hello."

Titan Guy: "How are you?"

Me: "Good." freak.

Titan Guy: "Do you do exercise?"

Me: "Yes I do."

Titan Guy: "I can tell, your body looks more defined."

Now, let me explain this: as this was in Spanish, he said my body was more formadita. (Formed.) Formadita and gordita (fat) sound the same when you have a headphone in that ear. So I clearly heard fat.

Me: "FAT?" I scoffed. Some balls.

Titan Guy: "No no defined!"

Me: "Huh. Right."

Titan Guy: "You're very pretty."

Me: "Thank you."

Titan Guy: "What's your name?"

Me: "Samantha."

(Samantha Perez is my alias name for situations like this or where I'm acting stupid with other people.)

Titan Guy: "Samantha is a pretty name too."

Me: Really? I wouldn't know. My name is Jessica. "Thanks."

We reached his new car which looked like an Accord but I didn't stare. As he went to open the door, he continued.

Titan Guy: "I wanted to talk to you.. um.."

I walked backwards facing him as he said that, but then turned and continued on my path.

As I reached the next corner, I saw that he wasn't behind me. That was because he was turning the curb in front of me. He stopped the car and I stayed distant, paranoid from Criminal Minds and needles filled with sleeping killer liquid. He lowered the window.

Titan Guy: "I was just wondering if we could be friends."

Dude. Don't you have any other friends? That are like.. your age maybe?

Me: "No."

Titan Guy: "But why not?"

Me: "How old are you?"

Titan Guy: "38."

I could not resist laughing. 38? I'm not even allowed to legally drink, and you want to be my friend? What are we going to do, go to the movies? Take a walk in the park? Are you gonna bring your son over and have homework parties with my little sister? Is this some kind of a joke?

Titan Guy: "How old are you??"

Me: "I'm 18!" I continued to laugh. 

Titan Guy: "18! I thought you were 21, 22."

Now you're calling me old-looking? When was the last time you hit on someone? Did you forget the basic rules of the game?

Titan Guy: "But you're legal now anyways, you're an adult."

Yeah run that game.

Me: "No way! I am legal but no!" meaning, you're too old!

Titan Guy: "Is it cause of the age?"

Yes. Yes it is actually. That and your incessant need to flag me down to say hi and ask to be my friend.

Me: "Don't you have a kid?" What would your kid think! What would my sister think! What would my friends think! What would I be thinking!!!! What are you thinking?!

This is clearly what he is thinking.

Titan Guy: "Yes, don't you have a daughter?"

Oh what the hell are you trying to say? First I look old. Now I'm trashy and had a kid when I was young?

Me: "NO!"

Titan Guy: "Oh that's your sister?"

Me: "Yeah.."

Titan Guy: "So you aren't going to give me your phone number?"

No, I actually decided to wait a year before I gave it to you. YEAH, I'M NOT GONNA GIVE YOU MY NUMBER.

Me: "No."

Titan Guy: "Wow you're mean. Que abusadora."

Yeah, okay.

Titan Guy: "Okay I guess I'll keep being your friend around here." As in, you are gonna give me your phone number one day little girl. By then I shall have memorized rejection hotline's number.

Me: "Alright, see you around."

And that was my morning today. 

Now my grandma is coming to pick me up to go vaccinate my poor doggy.

:(

the thing about birds.

Last night I finished watching Your Highness at about 12, therefore I could not write as I was too tired. I shall (obviously) post now.

Today's topics

• birds
• belt test results
• the crazy rain
• work out buddy
• best friend
• little sister
• I hear the mail man!

birds.
I love birds. If you didn't already get that from the Harpy Eagle and I-want-to-be-an-ornithologist-one-day post. I love 'em lots. All of them, from the pigeons on the streets behind the grocery store, to the bluejays that play eagerly outside my balcony, to the green loros that live in the trees on the way to my sister's school. You get the point. I love domestic birds, I love birds of prey, birds of paradise, birds in your home, birds in my friend's house, birds that fly around in the grocery store and at the mall.

Plain-fully: just birds.

Anyways, my dad bought me two cockatiels a while ago. They bred and started their own family. The guy is called Pollo. The girl is called Baby. All our animals (except my dog) have unoriginal names.

Baby is on the left, Pollo is on the right. Pollo hates being near the camera, Baby cannot get enough of it, despite her "WTF are you doing now?" face.

 They started laying eggs sometime in February. It was fabulous and wonderful, since I stay home all the time, I could help care and watch over for the chickies. (I call all birds little chickens.) Actually, it was the opposite. It was heartbreak. I truly watched as "only the strong survived" played out in that little bird cage, as the first(ever)born Lucius competed with a hatchling less than half of his size. Though I tried to raise the hatchling by myself, feed and warmth, it was not enough and it passed.

1. Now before you begin to wonder, I have handled birds for a loooooooooooooooooong looooooooooooooong time so I know what I am doing. A tragic accident I had years ago created my love for birds and the need to take care of them. I reject no birds I find on the street, and take them in and give them a peaceful last few days if they are sick, or help mend them and have them continue on their way.
2. And if you begin to wonder why we called it Lucius, well it was because first it was going to be Lucy. Then we realized it was a boy. So we changed the name to Luc-IUS. Weird name, I know. Lucius ended up being given to my grandma, though, as much as I fought to keep him.

Well my little chickens laid yet another batch of eggs sometime ago, and one hatched. Already sure of it's death, I did not intervene with the parents as they raised it. We called it Amy when it was born, short for America, since that was the day I received my paperwork. (And if she ends up being a boy, then she'll end up being called Amerigo Vespucci.) She's cute, chirps quietly when you pet her behind the neck.

I believe I have some form of curse when it comes to birds though, as I have seen more pass than live. Last week while the birds were outside, I noticed Amy panting. I brought the cage inside, thinking it was the heat that had her like that. I changed their water, checked their food and when she relaxed, I thought nothing more of it. Until yesterday, when I noticed Pollo plucking out Amy's orange cheek feathers. I let the birds out so Baby and Pollo could destress and leave her alone. As they crawled out, I looked over to Amy and my heart sank. She was sitting at the bottom of the cage, with her back into a hump and her wings spread out. She was panting, and it seemed she was about to begin stargazing. Stargazing usually leads to death, in my experience. I am a crybaby and so I started crying. It never helps, but I cant control myself. I took her out of the cage and begin to research. I have lost so many birds, but I fight to ensure they live. All animals deserve another chance.

(*OFF TOPIC STORY* It was like one time I saved a large gecko from a cat. It had lost a lot of blood but it was alive. I picked it up and brought it upstairs. I told my mom about it, and praise my mom for the patience she has about bring animals home, and she told me to find a box. I set it on a napkin and when nighttime rolled around, I set it outside on a potted plant. A little while after I asked my mom to take a look at it with me. I grabbed my flashlight and as I searched for it, I found it... covered in huge red ants. I'm allergic to ants, but I screamed and grabbed the napkin. My mom came to the rescue when she removed all the ants from the lizard. It was still alive and going strong. After I finished crying like a baby, I did research research research. I used information from larger pet lizards to use on this little fellow's gaping wound around its neck. All the sites suggested Neosporin. Though I tried to fight for its life, even by finding all types of bugs, including spiders, flies, ROACHES, and ants, it eventually died. BUT it did not die a horrible death by ant bites.)

My household always carries a can of powdered baby bird food (duh) and I made some. I added a few drops of bird multivitamin and fed it to her. She seemed a bit more alive also when I came home from picking up my sister. My dad brought antibiotics* just in case to administer. This was last night. They (Pollo and Amy) are getting along now though, and he has just picked her face a few times. Maybe it's part of a learning method I haven't seen (because it seems to me that he is encouraging her to learn to eat dry food.) My heart feels better. That changes my whole mood.

*From previous experience with a bird named Pidge (who was obviously a pigeon) who had been attacked by a cat, all I could find was that antibiotics could help with her disease. Sadly Pidge began to stargaze and eventually passed while I held her. I remember spending all practice freaked out. My friends know about my love for these chickens and know how it upsets me when I see a dead bird on the streets or a bird that's injured. My best friend allows the birds in his new car because he. just. knows.


belt test results

I arrived to the gym hoping we wouldn't run. I was already dreadfully tired and felt like dying from the beginning of my period and the whole bird thing. Luckily, we did NOT have to run. Surely we wont be so fortunate tomorrow. Coach had us line up against the cage and then he began to hand out rankings. He called my name out and I walked towards the front of the class. I wasn't paying attention (as I usually haven’t been for feeling like I was going to pass out) and forgot I had to stand in order to receive my next stripe, not get on my knees. Anyways, the assistant coach handed him a black stripe (this black stripe is duct tape, for those who don't know. Original, I know) and he grabbed my belt and proceeded to wrap the stripe around the tip. He didn't tell me to use my hands more. Maybe he got the hint, maybe he forgot, or maybe it was because this time he brought in new material for advice this time.

Coach: “How is weight coming along?”

As in, have you lost the 15 lbs yet for the upcoming grappling tournament which you have already preregistered for?

Me: "It's good Coach."

As in, I still weigh 150 lbs and the tournament is in less than 3 weeks. So IT'S COMING ALONG REALLY BAD.

Coach: "Are you still competing?"

Oh wow, did you really just ask me that? Should I say, DUH? Didn't I just tell you my weight is just fine for the tournament? Context clues, hello!

Me: "Yes I've already signed up."

Coach: "Good."

Duh. I signed up before any of your other students. 

Then we practiced passing guards, a wrestling move that I liked very  much and felt very comfortable with so I should be drilling it more often.

Then we grappled for a bit, class was over and my mom came and picked us up to head over to the grocery store right next door. Which brings me to my next topic.

the crazy rain.

Oye, it was pouring like a mother yesterday. The skies began to turn crazy. It looked like Twister without the tornado ravishing the little plaza. Dark gray skies, strong winds that picked up dirt and newspaper off of the ground, carrying it towards us and the hoods and windows of people's cars. Small sporadic droplets of water sprinkling from those massive clouds. Mom parked and we grocery shopped for the delicious diet I've been doing, which consists purely of supplements, water and healthy food. As we walked towards the car, the sky was falling. Literally. There were chunks of the clouds on the floor. I ran to the car with my baby sister and the groceries, loaded up the trunk and swung by to get my mom.

Rain is water. And if you get a bit or a downpour of water on you, you aren't going to melt. So have fun next time it rains. Life is too short to be angry about getting wet.

Except if you step in a puddle with your new Nike's that you treasure. Then that f$%*ing pisses me off.

work out buddy

After about a week, I finally saw Viv today. We headed over to walk around the park with our weighted vests on. We caught up on her son's "M" and "D", "D's" girlfriend, her mother-in-law, things of the sort. Then about the tournament and how my vist with the CAP adviser went. Afterwards she bought us IsoPure. I got the fruit punch colored one, she got the grape. IsoPure testers, stick to the green one.

best friend

My best friend finally kissed the girl of his dreams yesterday night. He texted me frantically, letting me know that he finally gathered the genitalia to lean in forward and take the chance. He said she didn't mind and smiled after. Maybe this is finally kicking off (after about more than a year of non-stop trying.) My first reply was: finally. Today they're going to talk about it, in person. They're going to have an "A.A.R." (After Action Review) about it. Hahaha old ROTC terms. :-|

little sister

Speaking of love and romantic stuff, my little sister managed to finally get that boy's phone number today, the one she has been crushing on for a week and so. Tonight she's going to call him and they're going to have a nice chat. 

I hear the mail man!

And I think I'm going to go downstairs to check it out and see if my license has arrived already so that I can stop carrying around my green card and upgrade to a cooler form of i.d. :-)

Tuesday tales

It's early in the day still but there's always something to talk about.

• early bird gets the worm.. if the worm is even there to begin with
• I don't recognize anyone at J.R.O.T.C. anymore
• college application! wooo!
• circuit training
• belt test results
• I have really bad cramps and my knee hurts
• why do some of the sentences I write here have a white background even after I try to remove it?

                        and

• I'm really hungry

early bird gets the worm.. if the worm is even there to begin with

I usually never woke up early for school. Actually I never woke up early for school. I attended "Tardy Tank" a few times my freshman year. I hated waiting in line for that stupid slip of paper and so I decided to walk a little faster to school in the mornings. Normally I was out of the door by 7:05 or 7:10 to make it (barely) by 7:20. Today I was out of the house by 6:50 a.m.

"Wake the hell up, time to apply for college!"

 I value education more now because I know how it feels to want to be in school and can't. I know how it feels to be underprivileged. And I know I will cherish my college education more than some of my friends. Hence the preparation I have undertaken to make sure my transition into college runs smoothly. Anyways, I arrived earlier than my CAP adviser, (obviously) and so I hid out at the ROTC room. Which brings me to my next topic.

I don't recognize anyone at J.R.O.T.C. anymore

Obviously. People graduate (hopefully, or drop out) and time passes. It's been a full year since I've graduated and my last year of J.R.O.T.C., I wasn't involved with the freshman class as I was previous years. Actually, I wasn't involved at all. All I did was delegate orders to my assistant, making her do training schedules and OP Orders and sh*t like that while I studied for the major inspection we had that year. (RFI/ Regional Formal Inspection) It wasn't like when I visited last year that I was tackled by so many people and so many familiar faces that were happy to see me. Last Friday when I visited, I was hugged by literally 3 people. Everyone else looked at me like I was some freak looming at the back of the room. Which, I kind of was because as I scanned everyone, I realized, I knew NO ONE. 

college application! wooo!

I darted back to my adviser's room to find the light on in the room. I walked in and she smiled eagerly. "Let's get started!" I applied for my local community college. I just have to finish sending out some documents proving residency (I've only lived here for 17 years but sure) and I'm done. Meanwhile as I went to apply for FAFSA, being that my SSN is part of a new batch, the system would not accept it. Which would explain why when I tried applying online for a job, it would give me an error. Retarded. I had to call the place and they were so kind! I normally dislike solving matters over the phone but she was really helpful. Juny, I think her name was. She so cool. She explained to me that since my social was new, the system couldn't recognize it and that I could apply meanwhile through mail or just wait until October 23rd to apply online. With the advice of my counselor, I've decided to wait until then. She knows best. Thank you Juny for your kindness!

circuit training

I haven't trained for a week (since I've been sick as hell) so I decided to set up my own circuit training at home. I would do 5 minutes of treadmill, 5 minutes of trampoline and 10 minutes of weight training continuously, 3 times. Since its the first day of my . and I'm still recovering from destroyed elbows and a horrible sickness, I took it slow.

I worked out my neck with a resistance band and it was the COOLEST thing ever. People laugh when I say to work out your neck, but that really does help with your wrestling! Get your mind out of the gutter people, it's hard to push my face to the floor. (Mostly because I also don't set myself up in that position but strength plays a role too.)

"And 1 and 2 and 3 and 4.."

belt test results

Last week Thursday was the belt test. I've missed out on gym class because of sickness, I hurt my pinky toe and couldn't walk so I didn't attend class, and I had to take my driver's license test last week during the review. Therefore I knew NOTHING of what I was doing, which was not reflected in my performance because I made it up pretty well as I went along. My partner loves testing RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY COACH so he could OBVIOUSLY tell I was bs'ing everything. Our belt tests consist of three retarded portions:

1. conditioning. Males have to make the mile in less than 6 minutes and some seconds. Females are given leniency (mostly because I complain a lot and he doesn't want to hear that) and are given 8 minutes and 30 seconds. Fair? I think so. I run out of sight of my coach, walk half, and when the males are fulfilling their dumb honor code and come back from the other side of the block, I turn back and jog the rest. My coach, though I'd like to believe sometimes, isn't stupid and still fails me when I arrive under the allotted time. What an intelligent man.
2. drilling. We drill moves over and over while he writes down how we do. Some moves (and I love jiujitsu, I really do) are embarrassing. Like the kimura from side control where you have to put your butt in the person's face to finish the crank. One time I refused to do it like that, modifying the position so that I would squat instead of sitting on his face. From across the room, my coach screamed to put my butt in his face. I did. And my mom and sister were there watching. How nice. I know.
3. performance. I hate this part more than the conditioning.. or maybe they compete. We have to have a full blown MMA match, consisting of sparring, wrestling and groundwork against one of our teammates. I'm lucky if the fight gets to the ground (as grappling is my forte) but sometimes, it takes some work to get the fight to the ground. Maybe I've mentioned this before, maybe I haven't, but I will say it now: I HATE SPARRING SO DAMN MUCH. I hate getting punched in the face and in the stomach. I know I suck. So what do I do? To put distance between my opponent and his punches and I, I throw kicks. All types of kicks, heavy kicks, quick kicks, hard kicks, painful kicks, front, side, roundhouse, all types of kicks. As a matter a fact, I throw SO MANY KICKS, I fail this portion as well because I never throw punches. Every single time my coach adds a stripe to my belt, he says the same thing:

Coach: *as he adds the stripe to my belt, in his heavy Hispanic accent*"Your jiujitsu game is getting much better Jessica. But I need you to throw more punches."

Me: *outloud*"Yes coach." *thinking* "Yeah I got that already. I've heard it about 5 tests in a row. Can you change the advice? We both know I'm not gonna do it. Don't you have anything better to say?"

He changes it up every now and then though. Sometimes he'll say "use your hands more" or "you need to work your hands more" after telling me how my "jiujitsu game is getting much better." What a colorful variation, I know. 

But anyways, today I receive my last stripe on my orange belt before advancing to green. Finally. It has been some long months of stripes.

I have really bad cramps and my knee hurts

The first part is self explanatory. I feel as if my ovaries are going to pop. I've had knee problems for some time (about 4/5 months) and today's little jog on the treadmill has it acting up again. It's been hurting since last week. I haven't done salt baths or ice baths since before my last tournament. I should start again with that. This sickness has had me really bad and out of breath easily. Going up the stairs to go home gets me winded and in pain. Im such a crybaby, I know.

why do some of the sentences I write here have a white background even after I try to remove it?

It's so annoying. I'm still in the process of tweaking out this blog that it fully expresses me, not some pre-made template. When I link sites, the fonts become retarded. And when I try to remove the white background, there is no option for a transparent background! What the hell, you get me? So I am forced to have a white backdrop for the font area so it doesn't look retarded. I'm working on this and will get this fixed ASAP, because even if no one reads this blog, it bothers ME!!!

I'm really hungry

Actually, I'm starving. I've taken out a spoonful (or two or three..) of Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter (chunky) to tame my hunger while I find the lower back, ovaries and legs to transport myself to the kitchen. The food is already made (Mom knows how lazy I am and will starve out of laziness.) I guess I'll get my ass up and go eat something and take a shower after. I'll write again later.

"Eat me."

:) 

Ongoing reggaeton phase?

today's discussions

• the zoo
• this delicious protein shake I'm drinking (and its fabulous recipe!)
• the horrible sun today
• my current reggaeton phase

                        and

• college! wooo!

the zoo

Today I went to the zoo, courtesy of my beautiful mother and LivingSocial's fabulous deal which got us all $5 entrance tickets. As it turns out, the zoo has it's on $5 dollar days so technically, LivingSocial just let us know about the deal and did not save us any money. Anyways, we arrived and it was PACKED. After we entered, we went straight to the giraffes. We passed by the turtles, a bunch of bovine creatures, and eventually made it to the giraffe line. Mom finally lived out her current American Dream as she watched her daughters feed a pair of  14+ feet animals a bunch of celery. My baby sister played in the water park area of the zoo while I went into the "Amazon" portion looking for the Harpy eagle. Sadly, I did not find it :( The zoo truly is a maze and its maps are horrible. 

"Here giraffey giraffey!"

*Interesting facts about the Harpy Eagle:

• The Harpy Eagle is an actively hunting carnivore and is an apex predator, meaning that adults are at the top of a food chain and have no natural predators.
• The Harpy may take domestic livestock but this is extremely rare. (BUT THEY CAN STILL DO IT, HELLO!)
• It can also lift more than three-quarters of its body weight. That allows the bird to snatch a live sloth from tree branches, as well as other huge prey items: There are accounts of Harpys capturing and flying off with howler monkeys and sloths weighing up to 14 to 17 lbs. (THAT'S RIDICULOUS.)
• they're gorgeous. And this isn't an opinion, it's a real proven fact. Just like Hawkheads. :-)

"I am the best mommy ever."

"I watch you while you sleep. And your children too."

I love birds. <3 if I could, I would study to be an ornithologist. Maybe as a part-time or hobby one day. 

this delicious protein shake I'm drinking (and it's fabulous recipe!)

I'm not fan much of protein shakes sometimes. While concocting one of my own, I put too many blueberries and since that day, about a year ago, I can't stand the smell or taste of blueberries. But the other day my mom bought some Naked Juice (because it was on sale and it was in the fruit section) and she started mixing some of her own stuff and then handed me this magenta colored drink.

it. was. fabulous. 

As a matter of fact, it was so fabulous that I am going to write the recipe, so whoever reads this can try it out. And if Nobody reads this too, then they can try it out too! Even if you read this once, and never come back, take this recipe with you and share it with the world. 

I call it,

the really good tastin' pink shake

ingredients

-8 oz Naked Blue Machine fruit juice

-1 scoop vanilla Whey protein powder

-4 or 5 ice cubes

-2 oz water

-1 packet of Truvia fake sugar

-2 plastic spoonfuls of any type of powdered fiber, though I prefer the coarse (adding fiber to your diet is important!)

directions

-put in cup. I use Fit&Fresh's mini blender

-blend

-serve and enjoy it

It's delectable and everyone should try it. EVERYONE. (AND it has blueberries.)

the horrible sun today

Today's sun was horrible. I thought my skin was melting off into tan little puddles at the zoo. I felt like Riddick in that scene where they are all running away from the sun that kills people as I ran towards my car. More like power-walked because I already didn't have my legs.They were somewhere left behind in between the elephants and zebra exhibit. We ate some chicken after. I drove home almost dead. My eyes were watery and my skin burned to the touch. Literally, it was hell. Even around 4 as I went downstairs to retrieve some papers from the car, I was stunned at how powerful and hot it was, just to make a quick dash to the car. Hopefully the sun isn't hell tomorrow if I have to use my "chevro-legs" to make it to train. :-) though all the more exercise, the better.

my current reggaeton phase

oh so last night, I decided to download some song that said "parate y ponte hyper." I heard this song at a party two days earlier. It was catchy, it was dumb and it made me want to dance, so I downloaded it. It's called "Atrevete" by Calle 13.

And then I did the mistake of listening to more of his songs, like a collabo he has with Shakira (I like the live version) and I ended up downloading a list full of Spanish songs by different artists. The whole time spent at the zoo I was jamming to some a**-shaking songs.

I'm certain this sudden affliction for Spanish music had to do with the party I attended, being that was basically all that was played. 

college! woo!

tomorrow I meet up with my former CAP Advisor at 7 a.m. to start my college application process. I'm so very excited because now I can start studying! Like I've mentioned before, I've done research on tips and things to be on the look out for. Before, in other things I would do, I would set myself up for failure by taking on too much to handle but with my first tournament, I realized, "if you fail to prepare, prepare to fail" and that's why I'm taking this slowly and making sure I'm ready to the letter. I want to make sure I can do the best I can possible do. I want to be able to say "I came, I saw, I conquered" in everything I do. That's why I must win (honorably) top 3 at this next tournament so I can do my "veni, vidi, vici" tattoo on my index finger. :)

What to expect?

I normally have much to say, despite my quiet demeanor.

Today I'll be covering several topics, such as

• college! woo!
• I hate this diet
• the zoo
• pole dancing lessons and hot yoga

                        and

• how boring this Sunday has been (but how it's not anymore now that I decided to do this blog.)

College:
Today while I was shifting through some old high school papers, I decided to look up a few tips for those students who are beginning college soon. 


Along with the usual of "actually ATTEND class" and "actually PAY ATTENTION in class", I found some interesting ones like "if your entire week (Monday through Sunday) consists of partying, you may need to attempt to remember why you’re at college in the first place (Hint: It’s not “to party”)" and "make friends with local campus police, it might save you from spending a night in jail."


I've saved some of the links for when I start school. I'll probably make and print of list of reminders to keep me in check so I don't slack off during the new school year. I'll also probably most likely list the links of the side as well so we can all share in the knowledge of how much to not drink our freshman year :)


I hate this diet:
Meanwhile today I started that diet that's going to help me cut 18 pounds by September 24th for the upcoming grappling tournament. Of course I will be incorporating some hardcore exercise as well for the next three weeks. But I have kind of already failed by eating the last half of the cheesecake that my mom left from last night. I'm weighing in at 151 lbs. I have to make it to 134.9 or less in order to make it to the middle weight division. Last tournament there were no girls in my weight division and I was bumped up another division. My measly 150 lbs were destroyed by a 180+ pounder. She won by points, not by tap. :)


zoo:
Tomorrow we'll be going to the zoo for labor day. Leave it to LivingSocial to find my mom and I some sweet deals, like the one for tomorrow. $5 entrance fee! Last time we went to the zoo, my mom wanted my baby sister and I to feed the giraffes. By the time we got there, it was too late and they had closed the feeding station. Enraged, my mom swore that next time we went, we would go straight to the giraffes, screw every other animal. Sounds like a plan!


pole dancing lessons and hot yoga:
LivingSocial has also found us a spectacular deal on pole dancing lessons. I won't be doing that with my mom though, I will be doing it with my long-time work out buddy (about 3 months) Viv, the mother of my personal Brazilian jiujitsu training partner, "D" and I-don't-want-to-talk-to-you-anymore-ex-more-than-friend-but-not-boyfriend, "M." Viv also recommended I do hot yoga to help with my joints, so we should be doing that in the upcoming weeks as well before the tournament. I cant wait. She says this yoga forces you to reach a state of mind where you relax your body despite the overbearing heat. Developing a state of mind where I can reach relaxation during a period of extreme duress would benefit  me greatly in my grappling. I look forward to it.


how boring this Sunday has been (but how it's not anymore now that I decided to do this blog):
It started pouring randomly (well the day had already looked like crap anyways) at around 2. I thought today was going to be boring. My mom is getting sick and so she was sleeping in the other room. I didn't want to make noise so I couldn't finish organizing my desk how I wanted to. I was gathering all the paperwork to begin the college application and financial aid process. I need some of her things too so I just wrote it down in a list and left it alone. It's only 4:30 in the afternoon and I don't know what else to do. Maybe I'll finish furnishing my blog and I should work on getting some followers as well. Just as when I started my Twitter (which I am a huge, active lover of), now I am close to 200 followers. And that means a lot to me, considering I talk a lot of nonsense on it.